ஒரு பயனற்ற பொருள்

Before I begin this post, let me say two things.

1) I'm not a male chauvinist. In fact, I dont know even how to spell it! :-D

2) As you can see, this post is gonna be in Tamizh.
 
காலை 9 மணி . ரயில் நிலையத்தில் சில பேர் ட்ரெயின்க்காக ஆவலாய் காத்திருப்பார்கள் . அவர்களுக்கு அலுவலுக்கு நேரம்  ஆயிருக்குமோ என்னவோ ! சற்று தூரத்தில் சிறியதாய் தெரியும் , ட்ரெயின் வருவது . "ஹப்பாடி !" என்று  நினைப்பார்கள் . ஆனால் கிட்டே வந்தவுடனோ , "செ , இதுக்கு ட்ரெயின் வராமலே இருந்திருக்கலாம்!" என்று நினைப்பார்கள் . அவர்கள் நினைப்பது முற்றிலும் சரியானதே ! நானும் அவ்வாறு நினைப்பவன் தான் .

ஏனென்றால் , அது ஒரு பயனற்ற பொருள் . வெட்டி பெருமை பீத்திகொள்வதற்கு விடப்பட்ட ஒன்று . லேடீஸ் SPECIAL  ட்ரெயின் . எப்பொழுதுமே காலியாக செல்லும் . அதில் இருக்கும் பெண்கள் எல்லோரும் கூடி உட்கார்ந்தால் 4 பெட்டிகள் கூட முழுவதும் நிரம்பாது ; கடுப்பாக இருக்கும் . அதுத்த ட்ரெயின் கூட்டமாக வரும் . மேலும் தாமதம்  ஆகும்.

சரி , லேடீஸ் SPECIAL தான் விட்டீர்கள் , அதை நன்றாக கொட்டை எழுத்தில் போட வேண்டியது தானே ? ஏன்  இந்த கஞ்சத்தனம்? சிறியதாய் ஒரு பெண்ணின் முகம் கொண்ட ஒரு வரைபடம் MSB  என்பதற்கு அருகில் வைக்கிறார்கள் . ஏன்? இன்னும் சிக்கனமாய் ஒரு பாஸ்போர்ட் சைஸ் போட்டோ வைக்க வேண்டியது தானே?

இதை காணாமல் , தெரியாமல் ஏற வருபவர்களுக்கு ஒரு போலீஸ் அம்மா அங்கே வாசலில் ஒரு குச்சியை வைத்துக்கொண்டு , "தோப்பு, தோப்பு" என்று தட்டும். ஏதோ மந்தை ஆதுகளை விரட்டுவது போல ! மிகவும் கேவலமாக இருக்கும் !

"ஏன் டா? ட்ரெயின் SCHEDULE  பாக்க வேண்டியது தானே?", என்று நீங்கள் என்னை கேக்கலாம்.. பார்த்து என்ன பயன்? தாமதம் தாமதம் தானே? தலை தெறிக்க ஓடி வருபவனுக்கு SCHEDULE  நின்று பார்க்க நேரம் உள்ளதா  என்ன?

அப்படி பெண்கள் சிரமம் இன்றி பயணம் செய்ய வேண்டுமென்றால் , 9இல் 6 பேட்டிகள் பெண்களுக்கு ஒதுக்க வேண்டியது தானே ?


எதையும் சிறிதும் யோசனை செய்யாமல் வேலை செய்யும் மக்கள் ! சிரமம் என்னவோ , 'சிறிது' அதிகமாய் தூங்கிவிட்ட என் போல் இருப்பவர்களுக்கு தான் ! இவ்வாறு சில யோசனைகளும் , இந்த ட்ரெயினை விட்டவர்களை திட்டி சில கொச்சையான சொற்களும் வந்து செல்லும் நேரத்தில் அதுத்த ட்ரெயின் வரும் . நிரம்பி வழிந்து கொண்டு .

"நம் தலை எழுத்து ! நாம் தானே லேட்டாக எழுந்தோம்?", என்று நினைத்துக்கொண்டு தொங்கிக்கொண்டு செல்லும் பிழைப்பு ! கொடுமையடா !

Chaos on the road

What wrong did I do? All that I wanted to do was drive till MIT so that I could board a train!!

So, ppl, since you've all been patient enough to read my other posts, hear this outburst of mine too :-P

Hey you Dominos, Pizza hut and all the other idiots out there!! Do you know how idiotic your policy is? How much inconvenience it causes others? They are the cause of so many accidents.  Life is NFS uh? Are you playing tollbooth trials? The driver is a classical example of modern world. He'll probably get a memo or a pink-slip(at worst) for not driving fast. I agree that your fatass boss agreed to deliver all the pizzas in half an hour so that the lazy bums who can't even cook or go to a nearby store(ignore the emergency cases) can fill their tummies quick with all the junk. You know how bad your actions are?

Next are the share-autos. I agree that you've to pick up and drop many people but then, you'll stop whenever and wherever you want ah? The road is your property uh? Bleddy you, I won't forgive generations of your kind for asking 20 rupees from Guindy to CEG when it rains. You ppl must be renamed "Highway- Robbers"!

Hey L-board aunty!! This is the 4th vehicle your putting that board on. You know to drive no? Then why that board? Can't drive without it ah? I think you are a Flintstones fan. Your leg is a multi-purpose instrument ah? When starting, it gives extra- pickup. When stopping, its an emergency brake. Also, not to forget them being "flight-stabilizers" in traffic!!

Hey you, idiyattu, I agree that you're an Abishek Bachchan fan, so, you'll do whatever he tells ah? He told "Walk and talk" inside your home, you dumbo, not while crossing the road!!

The road is full of idiots, and the ones here are only the less-serious ones. The others are the stupid guys who want to flaunt their Apaches n Pulsars and the jaywalkers.

Do understand that walking irresponsibly is also a sin.

Drive safe and walk responsibly.

A little inspiration from RJ Balaji's status update for the message and LocalParty for the language license :-)

\*unleash your thoughts*/

The Event, the Hope and It Not Happening

Its the first week of November and third internal assessments are on their way. The covet of internals and the desperate attempts to boost it above that small yet huge benchmark '40'.

Suddenly, in the face of internals, 40 seems such a huge number and the woes of a student to cross it, is in itself a terrible journey :-D

All that put aside, one thing hasn't happened yet. Its the first week of November. Only two more weeks for the semester and it hasn't happened yet.

The circular only added to the worries. The last working day is the 12th of November(only 8 days more) and it hasn't happened.

Why the change? For, it has happened so regularly in the past!!

And, that what hasn't happened is that, A holiday hasn't been declared due to rains.

The fact about Indian roads are known to all. What do you think we students are?

Oh, the journey on a two-wheeler wouldn't get more miserable !!

For those, who'd say "Driving in rain is so much fun!", try that in my colony. You'll never drive in rain again.

Trust me, Motocross and Rally driving tracks are much much better.

We're already in a pitiable state carrying our bags(and all other accessories like the drafter, chart box etc), that someone could mistake us for returning from an army camp if we were to dress in a uniform :-/

What's wrong with giving that one day leave?

Bear Grylls probably, would have it easier. Maybe, I should ask him to do an episode - "Travel to CEG on a rainy day!"

Expedition it really is.

The people(office-goers etc) already look at you like an alien if you're carrying a bag inside a train or bus, and would do all sorts of things to irritate you and finally, unshoulder your bag, and giving it to a sitting person. Now, added to that, the raincoat. He'll look at you like you're *something* :-P

How come only schools get holidays? ;-> You ppl are unfair. Just because we came to college doesn't mean we're not students, you know? In fact, we're even poorer souls.

The rain, too, why doesn't it rain continuously? Either it rains all night and clears up early morning or it rains after i reach college. Damn it.

Whatever said and done, third internals are on their way and the quest to boost internals are too. No use hoping for a holiday, I better study "Performance and optimization of disk block access" :-D

\*unleash your thoughts*/

Duty

Lab, lab, lab! Practicals is fun, yeah, surely better than theory. Endeavour, experience and exploit. The key to research. Fascination by results is the key to innovation, and it is that factor that drives practical work. But uff! Lab isn't interesting anymore. Not when your capabilities are tested by the notebook you wield. A college student is a warrior whose weapons are his math textbook(read club) and his observation notebook. Miss the latter and you're the primary subject of the teacher's anger. A perfect observation is an engineer's dream.

Once he begins his herculean effort to comprehend the science of engineering, his list of national duties get incremented by one. Oh yeah, I would recommend the Drafting Committee. How does this sound?

Section 24 of the Article 423 requires that "all engineering students maintain, update and validate the existence of their corresponding observation notebooks every week. Failure to do so, may result in inexplicable circumstances ranging from a petty warning to a full-fledged vent of the staff's anger on her housemaid who didn't come to sweep the house on that particular day".

As theory is tested by thoery, practical work may only be tested fair by a practical continuous assessment. But, oh goodness, 75% of my continuous assessment comes from my observation which "I solemnly swear to be a testimonial of my copying abilities and undetectable plagiarism".

All set and done, I have my Database Management Systems lab tomorrow and I must dutifully complete my observation. For I am an engineer.

\*unleash your thoughts*/

You may order what you please!

Another of Agatha Christie's books, another blog post. :P This time around, the book was "The ABC Murders". And, here is an excerpt from the book.

' "If you could order a crime as one orders a dinner, what would you choose?"

I(Captain Hastings) fell in with his(Hercule Poirot) humour.

'Let me see now. Let's review the menu. Robbery? Forgery? No, I think not. Rather too vegetarian. It must be murder - red-blooded murder - with trimmings, of course.'

'Naturally, The hors d'oeuvres.'

'Who shall the victim be - man or woman? Man, I think. Some big-wig. American millionaire. Prime Minister. Newspaper proprietor. Scene of the crime - well, what's wrong with the good old library? Nothing like it for the atmosphere. As for the weapon - well, it might be a curiously twisted dagger - or some blunt instrument - a carved stone idol -'

Poirot sighed.

'Or, of course,'I sighed, 'there's poison - but that's so technical. Or a revolver shot echoing in the night. There must be a beautiful girl or two-'

'With auburn hair,' murmured my friend.

'Your same old joke.One of the beautiful girls, of course, must unjustly be suspected - and there's some misunderstanding between her and the young man. And then of course, there must be other suspects - an older woman - dark, dangerous type - and some friend or rival of the dead man's - and a quiet secretary - dark horse - and a hearty man with a bluff manner -  and a couple of discharged servants or gamekeepers or somethings -  and a damn fool of a detective rather like Japp - and well - that's about all.'

Poirot looked at me sadly.

'You have made there a very pretty resume of nearly all the detective stories that have ever been written.'

.

.

.

.

.

'................... You have quite the melodramatic soul, Hastings. You would like, not one murder, but a series of murders.'

Now, what's with the excerpt? The fact is that it brought about me a very similar description, of something that I know, we all know. Let me illustrate.

'Let me see now. Let's review the menu. A celebrity talk show? A reality show? No, I think not. Rather too short. It must be melodrama - tear brimming melodrama - with trimmings, of course.'

'Who shall the main character be? Man or woman? Woman, I think. A happy family, nothing out of the ordinary, preferably, lower middle class. There must be this sick grandma or unemployed father at home. A neighbour that is there always to comfort and to criticize. Ah, a drunkard or a shady businessman - And, there's this friend of the main character's - from college or from work, preferably from work. A kind that would take jealousy for an attribute quite well to be mentioned in a CV. And, then there's this thing what everyone calls the "SUDDEN TWIST OF FATE", a member of the family takes ill, or the lead is about to be married off. Problems, more problems. Comes in autos, buses, trains and taxis.!"

I say "Et voila, you have a perfect soap-opera! A blend of the infinitely draggy, problem-centred, depressive, addictive  already existing ones!" Collect all the tears from tv and you would find a Chennai with no water trouble for the next decade!! :P

Yet, there are people who are so void of a pass-time that they will see even the most damned of these soap-operas. God save the lot!

As for the book, I enjoyed it -  as I did the other of her works. So, if you were to order a television programme as one orders dinner, what would you order?

\* unleash your thoughts */